Life's Wake-Up Calls: Find some meaning in the sadness
*Grief and Loss Trigger Warning* This post is a hard one to write, but it’s real and raw and I wanted to normalise grief and it has been helpful for me as somewhat of a journaling exercise to process what I’m going through. Maybe it will help someone too. If you aren’t in a good headspace please consider coming back to this article at another time. And as always, reach out for help if you’re not coping. With me, with any of the fabulous crisis support services we have in Australia.
So back to my wake up call. Well, let’s just say life has a way of reminding us that nothing is guaranteed. Two days ago I found out a friend, who was a healthy mother aged only 41, had suddenly died from what looks like unknown heart condition. Around the same time, I ran into an old school friend around my age (I’m 44) who is bravely fighting cancer, two years into her diagnosis. These events hit close to home and have been a sobering reminder of how unpredictable life can be. And gosh, losing my friend, it just flat out hurts. I cried, I cried so hard, I didn’t sleep and then I cried again. I don’t want this to be a doom and gloom blog post, but being real about grief is important in accepting the loss. It feels wrong, and unfair and surreal and working to a point of acceptance of a loss, is a journey through some rough waves sometimes. I keep going over the last conversations we had, think about the regret of being too busy and leaving a reply to her last message to me too long, too late.
The Fragility of Life: A Personal Reflection
Whilst I’m still being weighed down by the sadness, I’ve found a renewed sense of purpose. That is not to say that I am dismissing the loss, ignoring my grief, or making light of what is a very sad, unbearable pain for those left behind, but these moments are powerful wake-up calls, nudging us to re-evaluate how we’re living and what truly matters. To take stock and think about that decision we’ve been putting off that we know will be a difficult conversation but a worthy outcome. To really, truly look at what we are grateful for, what we have control over, and what we don’t. It doesn’t have to be a thought process that leads to despair, but it’s truly okay to feel the grief and to really sit with that.
So back to my old school colleague in the waiting room. The timing of running into someone I hadn’t seen since my school days so soon after losing a close friend really affected me. I expressed my empathy for her when she told me she had cancer, but she stopped me in my tracks not long after that. Her response to me expressing that I was sorry to hear what she was going through was so positive, she blew me away. She was so, so happy. She was happy because she was here to tell me her story all these years later, she was happy her kids are in her life and she is in theirs, she’s happy because she survived five surgeries even though they sucked, and she’s happy because she woke up today. She doesn’t know what the future holds, but she has made peace with that, and it was beautiful and raw, and real to see.
We can spend so much time worrying—about work, bills, or the small annoyances of daily life. But in the grand scheme of things, how much do those worries really matter? To someone like me who prefers a tidy house, and to be organised, they matter a lot, BUT it's easy to get caught up in the daily grind and lose sight of the bigger picture: our relationships, our passions, our health, and our joy. Of course there are big worries too, we all have them, but how many are out of our control, and is it worth considering to focus on what we can control? When they all pile up, any worries feel stressful, it is valid to feel overwhelmed and tired, and frustrated and over it. But it’s also okay to take a little step back sometimes, a step back to find something, even if it’s a tiny thing, to be grateful for. Sometimes that’s enough to help you cling to some positivity, drive a little more motivation and energy, and help you get over a hurdle or a challenge, and come out the other side more resilient and confident. It’s also okay, when you’re doing the mad juggle trying to keep on top of all the important things in your life, to give yourself a pat on the back and recognise what you ARE getting done, what you have achieved, nobody but you truly knows how tough it has been, or how hard you try. It’s okay to be proud of that.
Finding Meaning in Life’s Wake-Up Calls
When faced with these wake-up calls, it's natural to reflect. Are we spending time with the people we care about? Are we pursuing what makes us feel alive? Are we savouring the small, joyful moments? These are the questions that truly deserve our attention. It’s not about being perfect, but about being present—making the most of the time we have, no matter how long or short it may be. However, I understand that not everyone has the luxury of complete freedom over their time. Many people have demanding jobs, families to care for, or are juggling study and personal commitments. But that doesn't mean we can't carve out small, meaningful moments for ourselves.
Research into mindfulness and positive psychology suggests that even small acts of grounding ourselves—whether it’s a few minutes of deep breathing, a short walk outside, or pausing to appreciate a sunset—can significantly impact our well-being.
Experts from fields like mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) and behavioural activation emphasise the importance of integrating brief moments of self-awareness into our day. These small pockets of time, no matter how brief, help reduce stress and improve mood. Being present in nature, even for just five minutes a day, is shown to reduce anxiety and increase feelings of connection and calm.
Simple Ways to Stay Grounded Amidst Life’s Chaos
So, even if life is busy and you can’t control every minute, you can still find balance. Perhaps it’s drinking your morning coffee outside and really noticing the world around you, or maybe it’s taking a moment in the middle of a hectic day to breathe deeply and center yourself. These small actions add up over time, helping us feel more grounded and connected, even amidst the busyness.
Barefoot Grounding Exercise: Earthing
If you’ve made it this far through this post, could you take a moment to try an exercise? It will sound silly, a bit new-agey but it has value, and I’m hoping you could try it. There is a growing body of evidence that grounding exercises have a measurable impact on reducing stress, and boosting mood. It’s free, so why not give it a go?
Find a Natural Space: Step outside to a natural environment, like a garden, park, or any patch of earth where you can safely take off your shoes.
Remove Your Shoes: Stand barefoot on the grass, soil, or sand. Feel the ground directly beneath your feet.
Focus on Sensation: Close your eyes and focus on how the earth feels against your skin. Notice the texture of the ground—whether it’s cool, warm, soft, or firm.
Breathe Deeply: Take slow, deep breaths. As you inhale, imagine pulling in the earth’s energy and stability. As you exhale, release any tension or stress, letting it drain out through your feet into the ground.
Stay Present: Spend a few minutes just standing, walking slowly, or gently shifting your weight from foot to foot, all while paying attention to how connected you feel to the ground.
We all know we can’t control the future, but we can control our focus and attention. And when we focus on what matters most, every day becomes an opportunity to live with more purpose, more joy, and more connection. Life may be unpredictable, but it’s also filled with beauty if we choose to see it. So, let’s make the most of it—because in the end, it’s the moments we create, the love we share, and the experiences we cherish that will define our lives.